Let's face facts – you're not perfect. And my question to you is, do you know how to better yourself?
The reality is that no man on this planet is perfect. We all have our flaws and downfalls.
It's called being an human-being.
But here's the thing, just because it's an impossible goal to reach doesn't mean you can't strive for perfection in everything you do. After all, it's better to go the extra mile and fall at the last hurdle than it is to stay where you are and resign yourself to mediocrity.
To be successful – both in the professional sense and in your personal life, you must know how to better yourself and become the best man you can be.
So I want you to think, what aspects of your life do you wish you could be better at dealing with?
- Your relationship with your significant other?
- The way you're perceived by your colleagues at work?
- Are you a bit overweight and need to improve your physical appearance and health?
Self-improvement is a very individual thing. So how can you find out what you need to improve on in your own life?
Brothers, in today's article I'm going to help you out and tell you the many different ways you can change your lives and become a high-value man this year and beyond.
Let's get to it.
High-Value Man Trait # 1: Become A Man With Purpose
The first big mistake black men make is not having a clear direction in their lives.
It doesn't matter whether you're a young guy starting his first job or the CEO of a multimillion-dollar company, every black man should have a goal that he wants to achieve by this time next year.
Sure, the goals of a guy just starting his career might be a bit different from a man who has already achieved a great deal in his life. However, the thing about having a purpose is that the goal itself isn't what makes a man great.
Having a purpose is about having personal standards and a desire to constantly improve upon what you already have in your skillset.
A high-value man with a purpose understands his successes, works to improve on his flaws, and at all times demonstrates good personal standards.
High-Value Man Trait # 2: Demonstrate Resilience
A man needs to be strong for his family, his colleagues, and himself.
Now I'm not talking about physical strength. Sure, benching 225 is pretty damn impressive, but it's not necessarily going to help you when it comes to your success as a man.
I'm talking about emotional and social strength – essentially the ability to keep your chin up in the face of adversity and work through the hard times rather than cower beneath them.
Knowing how to better yourself in this way is a great starting point for most men. It's not about becoming superman overnight, it's all about working towards a resilient frame of mind.
Maybe you want to support your family through the hard times. Maybe you want to become the rock at your church so that people turn to you when the chips are down.
The form in which resilience comes isn't the main point here – the fact is a man should be able to show strength when the occasion calls for it.
In short gentlemen, hold your head high and work through your problems with dignity and strength.
High-Value Man Trait # 3: Communicate Well
‘Let's eat Marcus!'
Now I know what you're thinking – casual cannibalism isn't exactly the mark of a high-value man.
This is a prime example of why appropriate communication is important. Whether through speech, text, or physical gestures.
For instance, that bizarre phrase I just threw at you can be instantly improved with a simple comma.
A worrying phrase like ‘Let's eat Marcus' becomes an invitation to a nice meal:
‘Let's eat, Marcus!'
Now I know this is a bit of a fun example – but plenty of misunderstandings can occur through lack of consideration when it comes to communication.
A real-life example that a lot of men struggle with is communication through text. For instance, an email that you think sounds like friendly banter might sound aggressive and sarcastic to the recipient.
A high-value man can communicate appropriately, which means reading the room and understanding what is and isn't suitable communicative etiquette so that misunderstandings are avoided.
A good set of rules to stick by:
- Avoid banter at the office – keep it strictly business.
- Always politely clarify your meaning if misunderstandings occur.
- Speak clearly and use correct English or the dominant language whenever communicating with someone you don't know all that well.
High-Value Man Trait # 4: Foster Healthy Relationships
There's nothing more dangerous to a man's state of mind than a toxic relationship.
As human beings, we tend to be very impressionable when it comes to other people's emotions.
In fact, psychologists Hess and Fischer's study Emotional Mimicry: Why And When We Mimic Emotions suggests that:
‘The perception of a specific emotion display leads to the imitation of that display.'
This can be a problem for any man striving to be the best version of himself.
You may well be the cheeriest guy on your block, but if you surround yourself with negative people and bad relationships, chances are you'll begin to take on some of that negative emotion yourself.
The best way to avoid this? Simple. Ensure that all of your relationships are healthy and emotionally beneficial.
Understanding how to better yourself through careful consideration of your relationships is the key to becoming a high-value man.
Actionable steps to help achieve this understanding could be:
- Ensure that you keep conversations as positive as possible.
- Engage in relationships that make you feel happy.
- Don't be afraid to help boost the emotions of others with your positive outlook.
High-Value Man Trait # 5: Gain Valuable Resources
Earning a ton of money is one solution many men approach when considering how to better yourself this year.
However, money isn't everything and on its own very rarely brings complete happiness.
The Minimalists: Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus – consider money to be part of happiness but not it's defining feature:
High income or no, we must avoid passivity in favor of active, engaged, deliberate tasks. We must acknowledge our mistakes, make the right direction-changing decisions, and then take incremental actions each day. – TheMinimalists.com
Gentlemen, they've got a great point.
When we consider how to gain valuable resources, we must consider our knowledge a priority for improving ourselves.
A man that consistently learns new things is a man that will consistently succeed in new ways.
Need to ace an up and coming interview? Do the research and learn about the company.
Need a new tire fitted on your car? Research how to fit a new tire yourself and add to your ever-growing skillset.
Knowing how to improve yourself by applying an ever-growing bank of knowledge is a fundamental part of becoming a high-value man.
Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome.
High-Value Man Trait # 6: Be Consistent
Consistency is key.
What's another word for consistency? Stability.
To truly present yourself as a high-value man – people need to know that they can rely on you.
Let me ask you this: would you feel safe driving a car where the breaks only worked 50% of the time?
Of course not! That's a recipe for disaster.
Trust and dependency work in a very similar way. If you aim to gain the trust and dependency of those around you, it's vital that they can trust you're going to pull through for them when they need you the most.
If you're the sort of guy that's a bit flaky and unreliable, then the fact is you're going to find it hard to win the trust of those around you.
As I've said, consistency is key. If you display consistency in all that you do, those you care for will know that you're a man that sticks to his beliefs and is a safe bet when times are tough.
In short – make sure you fulfill the promises you make, stick to your decisions, and demonstrate reliability when it comes to making plans and following through with them.
High-Value Man Trait # 7: Command Presence
Do you guys remember those Cow Boy Westerns where the main character walks into a saloon, and everyone puts down their drinks, stops talking, and looks in his direction?
That's called commanding presence, gents.
Am I saying that everyone should cower in fear upon your entry to your favorite bar? Of course not.
Am I saying that everyone around you should know you mean business? Absolutely.
Commanding respect can come in many forms – your personal style, the way you talk, and how you hold yourself in day to day life.
The core attribute to all of these things is confidence. Commanding respect is all about dressing with confidence, speaking with confidence, and moving with confidence.
Basically dress well, speak clearly and assertively, stand strong, and watch that posture!
How To Better Yourself From This Point Forward
Becoming a better man isn't easy.
At the end of the day, it takes a very open-minded man to consider his own downfalls and recognize where he needs to make improvements.
However, the fact that you've read this article all the way to the end shows that you've got the potential to do just that and become a high-value man.
It's an exclusive club, guys – but believe me when I say the best men are part of it.
As we know, success is never given to us. It takes a special kind of man to work hard, improve on his flaws, and feel confident in everything he does.
You can do it – so long as you're willing to make a few small changes along the way.
Good luck, gentlemen.